This has been a difficult week. I am just about hanging on this week with the reading but I have cleared time Monday and Tuesday to make up for this week and really focus and recap and get back to 100%.
I’m so interested in the masterkey and it has been most of my thoughts. I had a family wedding last week and I had a lovely time as it was lovely to see friends and relatives and my cousin who was getting married is such a nice guy.
The trying part or the upset of week is I sat people watching at how dysfunctional the family is. I asked the grooms mother my aunt was she having a nice time and she pulled a face…we have to do these things. her brother and family weren’t invited. Her husband hadn’t invited his family and my immediate family of 2 parents and us 4 adult children took 3 tables as we all have issue with each other. I’m not doing too bad, there was only 2 people in the room who dislike me so I wasn’t in the worst position.
The reason for the big background is I never fit. when I bought my fist new car I was reminded how much it had devalued just driving out of the showroom and when I bought my first house and broke out of our local authority social housing upbringing I was asked why would I buy a house when I could have just went into a hostel and received government housing.
Doing some work on myself and doing the masterkey has made me realise the guilt and the need to explain the I haven’t changed but… I have changed and…..its great. I’m happy and I’m not apologising anymore for wanting to maintain the great relationship I have with my children or for moving to a better location where its safe to walk to school and crime is lower.
This week I realised my blueprint hasn’t reached a higher level as I’m constantly feeling I’m a fraud and a bad person for wanting to shine. All of my DMP goes against my family beliefs and the reason this last 10 or 11 days was so difficult and I had trouble submitting my DMP is because I’ve had some major a-ha moments. the biggest one being I’ve been conditioned to believe its this or that… and not that’s its ok to be better and have more of everything. It doesn’t mean I am disrespecting anyone or anything or any place. I just want a different life experience for me and my family.
I have spent the last 10 days re evaluating my value on myself and saying goodbye to toxic thoughts and environments. My mentor Cathy will have a much easier time with me from here on in. I’m ready for communication and improvement and my blocks are coming down so I can really take all from the masterkey experience.
the process of choosing my two headings for my DMP and looking at it again has made so many changes so this weeks DMP has had more work and hopefully I’m closer to getting it right as I’ve changed some things already.
thank God for friends and divine timing as this have come at the perfect time for me and the fact I haven’t given up this week has shown me how much I really want this.
next week I will be back to business and full of chat about this weeks work.
chat again soon xx