I loved this week, I was looking at the list and reading and its amazing how some weeks we decide on something but then notice so many different things.
I think this is a huge personal journey for us all and we are learning in a certain sequence but our experiences and a-ha moments are hitting harder on the things and weeks we need most.
I’m speachless as to how to explain properly in a way anyone outside of myself will understand but this week for me has brought amazing relief and changes. I have noticed things ive known but didnt really get.
I looked back at some of my blogs and its really reminded me of my journey. While im observing this week no matter how much im trying to observe I keep seeing control. The ways I need to control the ways others control, trying to force everything instead of just letting things be, as they are supposed to be. Without attachment to outcome. I see this week the connection with control and fear in a big way. My friend had a conversation with me about her cancer and her chemo and was feeling a bit reflective. Listening I realised the connection. Between feeings and health. She asked how come no matter what has happened in my life with family and cancer and surviving my injuries and various other things and I realised the difference is acceptance. It cuts out so many of the words on franklins list. When we accept and observe and connect it makes everything just details. She spoke about anger in her spouse and about putting it down to never being hugged as a child or never hearing I love you. She put it down to his parents relationship and as I listened I realised through this course I have learned acceptance. I grew up the same but I accept what is. I dont hold ill feelings as we are all doing thewell best we can in the moment and some moments are better than others. Its not about me. Its about where you are in the moment. Our priorities, who we love or who we give attention to or what ill feelings we hold is about where we are on our journey. I have learned we can be in heven or hell and still live in the same street. How we think feel veiw the world will reflect back at us and what we attract is whats in us. We cant attract whats not there so this journey is like changing rhe chanel on tv. Ive decided my chanel will be the one where its calm and accepting and where the chaos is on another channel. Its still there but I dont have to invite it into my living room. I have without realising it pruning away the negative and the drama fromy life and instead of feeling guilty I feel proud. Proud I recognize what doesnt serve my family well. My mind isn’t so busy and im happier. The cards might have helped this. Realising I have done things through my life that were good and that given the same situations I would not change. Im more resourceful and stronger than I thought. Im more capable than I realised and im a good person. Its nice to realise im doing ok. Looking at my life I would like a better income but they rest is really just making it more of. I have made too many changes to list in 2016 but its been amazing and now with this experience 2017 will be even better.