This week its probably no coincidence that we are doing Christmas and Gratitude. All the preparation for the big day. All the gifts, santa, groceries, cooking, decorations etc. For me its a natural time for gratitude. I’m not really a mad party person (although I do enjoy a good party) the xmas season for me is about family and gratitude. I find it easy to count my blessings and take a look at the year in a fond way.
The think thats different this year is I felt sad about family as in extended family situations. My daughters and partner and their friends and my eldest daughters partner were all here and it was great. The issues between extended family is what I was sad and thinking about. Instead of the f…you attitude and the eating the sadness with cake. Numbing emotions I found this yr I actually addressed whats going on. I felt sad and I also accepted the reason things are as they are is because I have grown up. I left the drama for a boring and happy life. I dont feel comfortable with the blaming and bitterness between everyone. They dont feel comfortable with me either or with each other so all 6 of us celebrated with our own people and my dad the exception as he went to my youngest sister as he didnt have pland and she lives a couple of houses away. This year I felt clarity as I hold no ill feeling and realise you cant change people. Cause and effect so I can only change me (cause) and sit back and see. And I feel calm about that. I enjoyed xmas more as a result of knowing more. Realizing that I’ve grown in ways and acceptance for how others are and not taking things personally has been a huge a ha moment for me. I know the situation will improve someday but I also know the date or year is not important as I am at peace with it. I looked at my family and was most grateful for their happiness in themselves and comfort with each other and in knowing they love each other. Thats a huge achievement after growing up in the opposite with parents who didn’t know better as they repeated what they grew up with. I feel there is no amount of material things that could match my children aged 25 down to just 2 years old not knowing that way of living. For them to know home is a safe place and family is where you are loved and where people want the best for you and there is nothing you cannot talk about or nothing you ever need to hide. This is the thing I am most grateful for, and second is we were able to shower them with gifts and a lovely xmas and have the time together to enjoy it.
My movies were shawshank redemption. Pay it forward and 7pounds Not on the list for this week but mentioned in list and as opportunity was there to watch with the family I took it. Im not a big tv or movie person so I was maxed with all that but could link in each the similarities as in dmp, poa, persistance, achievement. Etc…
Happy xmas everyone